It’s an accepted idea that once you get married, you let yourself go. Gone are the days where you stay active and excitedly get dressed up for a night out with your sweetie. While no longer competing for his affections, it’s tempting to think that looking good matters less and less. I have a feeling guys fall into this trap, too.

Of course your spouse should love you no matter your appearance, but I’m convinced that staying at the top of your game can help keep that spark alive. I’m also convinced that when you’re looking your best, you’re feeling pretty good too. Here I use myself as an example:

This look can only be described as: meh. (You know, the sound you make when you shrug in indifference.) At my former job, we were very casual. As in, we wore jeans most days. Heck, I could even get away with wearing my Uggs to work. Over the years, I would wake up, look at my clothes, shrug and throw something together. I wouldn’t put much effort into doing my hair and my makeup wasn’t very interesting. I didn’t look bad, but now that I look back on it, I realize that my appearance showed my apathetic attitude.

Fast forward to now. Sure, the photo above is at our Christmas party this year and is therefore not quite an apples-to-apples comparison, but it’s an outfit that I’ll often wear to work. (The “everyday me” would involve adding a black cardigan and having straight hair.) I’m happy at my new job, which is one of the reasons why I’m no longer apathetic about how I look. Not to mention, our dress code is business casual and we get to wear jeans maybe once a year. I’ve had to update my wardrobe with dresses, skirts, dress pants and heels. I now style my hair every day and put effort toward my makeup.

While I used to think it wasn’t worth the effort, I now realize that it is. I can’t tell you how much better I feel about myself. While my wardrobe change isn’t the entire reason for feeling so great, I think it’s a good outward sign of being happier inside.

If I can do it, you can too! Here are some simple tips to updating your wardrobe:

• Get inspired: When you notice a cute outfit on someone or while browsing through a catalog, make a mental note of what exactly made the outfit pop to you. Was it a pair of shoes, a piece of jewelry or a style of top? Keeping a list of these ideas will be a big help when it comes time to shop. I’ll be back later to share some of my favorite inspirations.
  
• Pare down your casual clothing items: We’re talking T-shirts and jeans, mostly. You probably don’t need as many of them as you have. Keep only your favorites and donate the rest. For some shirts that you can’t part with: keep some for working out and get rid of the grubby ones.
• Buy the basic staples and buy high quality items: For starters: get two pairs of work pants (one black and one gray, for example) and get two pencil skirts (these look good on most everyone and are now my favorite style of skirt). You’ll want these to last a while and get a lot of wear, so don’t go too cheap on these. Banana Republic has been having good sales lately, and I got a great pair of pants for $45 (originally $98). H&M also makes some good work pants and skirts.
• Buy versatile items: Now when I go shopping, I ask myself if the item I like could be dressed up and down. Your best bets? Cardigans and loose button down blouses.
• Don’t forget accessories: This is still a work in progress for me, but it can really make your outfit sing. While I’m willing to spend on my clothing staples, I find that I can save on my accessories by shopping at places like Forever 21 and Target.

One other tip I have is to pick out your clothes the night before so you’re not scrambling to come up with a good outfit. You could even plan your entire week’s outfit on a Sunday night if you’re an overachiever.

Also, don’t feel like you need to be shopping all the time. I go shopping for clothes far less than I used to. I also am smarter about what I spend on (the dress above, for example, was only $20 at Target!). Once you have your basic staples, you will see how far they can go in your wardrobe.

Now that I’ve put the challenge out to the interwebs to look your best, I guess I really need to stay on top of my game!